Friends. A loaded term that can range in meaning from the guy you kissed outside your dorm homecoming night to the best friend you’ve known since childhood. In theory, friends are supposed to always hold your best interest at heart. However, we live in a world that doesn’t work off social theories. We live in a world where the best friend you’ve known since childhood has been purposefully attempting to sabotage your weight loss journey because she’s always been the “hot” one (and fears the day that title belongs to you). In this imperfect world it is all to common and easy to fall victim to an enemy in friends clothing. Identifying the Brutus in your friendship circles is imperative in securing a fruitful future for yourself. It’s hard enough dealing with school work, money problems, and family issues, without adding the extra brunt of friendship betrayal. Identifying those close to you who wish you harm is sometimes harder than we anticipate. It’s not like the movie, Mean Girls, where manipulation and maliciously calculated strategies are easily seen through. Sadly, close enemies are way better than that. So here’s a list of people that you should probably consider booting from your inner circle:
The Complainer: This friend never shuts up about all the problems that he/she has. Every day its something new, and they never seem to have a good moment in their life. They call and text you with their daily dose of complainer barf and you listen attentively and offer them the best advice you can in the hopes that the problem will be solved. Unfortunately, the problem will never be solved. Once it is, the Complainer will make sure there is another to quickly take its place. The Complainer is an attention seeker that will drain you of valuable time and energy that you could be using to live your life. They result to complaining about everything, because they refuse to accept that they are in control of their lives. Instead, they wish to intrude on your contentment, by worrying you with their drama.
The Pitiful: This one is sort of like the complainer, except this friend takes it a step further by not only complaining about everything constantly, but by always being in a perpetual mood of sadness. This is the friend that no matter where you go or what you’re doing they always manage to rain on everyone’s parade by being in a never ending state of despair (make sure not to confuse this with a friend who may be suffering from depression, If your friend’s mood has suddenly changed into what I am describing they may be suffering from depression or having a hard time in life. In this case comfort them or when necessary seek help if you fear they may be suicidal). This friend is especially good at somehow being sad every time something good happens to you. For example, you just got this new job that you really wanted. So, you call up the Pitiful to tell him/her how excited and happy you are. The Pitiful responds with how she’s so sad that she can never find any work, and that she’s probably doomed to be unemployed. The whole conversation quickly turns to her and her problems, and she still hasn’t even murmured a word of congratulations to you. Don’t sit around and wait for The Pitiful to turn happy. She never will. She’ll only succeed in somehow making you feel bad about your success by constantly reminding you of the absence of hers.
The Hot Shot: Ohhhhhh the Hot Shot. It will take you awhile to grow weary of the Hotshot. At first, you’ll find her go-getter attitude refreshing. You’ll overlook some of her boasting, because her accomplishments just seem so amazing. However, you began to notice an annoying pattern in the Hot Shot. Every conversation ends up switching to her one upping you. For example, you tell her about the time you managed to catch a baby alligator, and she’ll tell you how she not only caught two baby alligators but the mother as well. You tell her how you and your mother went to six flags the past summer, and she’ll tell you how her parents not only also took her to Six Flags the past summer, but that they paid to close the park for her and her friends. No matter what you say you’ve done or accomplished, the go-getter has always done and accomplished more. Pretty soon, she has you in an unhealthy life/accomplishment contest and second guessing your potential. The Hot Shot is not a friend, she has low self-esteem, and tries to make herself feel better by making you feel beneath her. You will never get ahead of the Hot Shot, so drop her.
Lastly, The Most Dangerous of Them All:
The Helper: Out of all the former mentioned friends, her malice is extremely covert. It’s harder to detect because she’s always done the typical thing that a friend is supposed to do. She checks up on you when you’re sick. When your boyfriend dumps you she’s right there with you on the couch, eating ice cream and badmouthing him. You tell her secret things that you don’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else, and she doesn’t judge. She understands you and she seems perfect. One problem. Every time you tell her about a new opportunity in which you would end up bettering yourself, she always interjects with a “but”. You tell her about being accepted into this science program that you’ve been dying to get into, and she’ll remind you of that time you failed that chemistry test and whether the camp is for you. You tell her that you’re finally going to get in shape because you want to be healthy, she’ll tell you that it’s only a matter of time before you fall off the wagon again. She will clothe all of these “helpful’ comments into just looking out for you, but in reality she fears your potential for success. You’re blinded to her sabotage, because in other areas she has always proven to be a good friend, so it takes awhile for you to realize that her “advice” is dangerous.
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